Writers block

Sitting here, staring at wall, listening to the clock as it ticks by second by second dragging behind it the minutes that lead to the hours that define your life. Sigh. Staring at letters that so easily piece together words to describe everything that anyone has ever wanted to say, sing, or yell. Why do they now resemble a puzzle scattered across the endless dinning hall table? Little by little, the harder you stare at the letters, the more distant they become, and the urge to create something, anything, resembles the scrambling of a drowning man searching for land. Help. Eyes darting around the room, filling the rushing veins with nervous energy, the light switch has been turned off. As if Niagra falls has been stopped up by the meaningless flesh of confusion that separates imagination with communication. Mute. Nothing comes out. The music has been turned off, the spotlight arises, the silence of the room as if the thought of a breath of air could be heard louder than a mariachi band. Try. Cat got your tongue? More like took it with it. As Syliva evaporates into the hot, arid air, your tongue becomes sticky and uncomfortable like it was the tongue of a man that has desceased many years before your time. The moist from your mouth is replaced on the outter later of your forehead. The forehead which becomes a block to the outer world, preventing the awaiting eyes from seeing the file folders your mind searches through in desperate need of a thought, an action, a sentence, anything to take up these seconds. Breathe. You get red, and crave the oxygen that awaits on the outside of your dry, chapped, good for nothing lips. Close your eyes and listen to the applause. Stand up out of your haze. Obstacles that prevented you from sharing to the world your struggles, feelings, and hardships. The words you just used to explain everything you couldn't. 

Deep breath

Have you ever met someone that completely took your breath away? I'm not just talking about appearances or the way their body looks, I'm talking about 110% you are so blown away you forget to breathe. It is crazy. We walk through this world seeing everybody as one. You have your jocks, cheerleaders, bums, successful ones, know it alls, etc. yet, the very first time you meet someone and label them, you miss the opportunity to learn more about them. Because in the back of your mind, always, you are talking to the girl who spends way too much time getting ready in the morning. I do this, you do this, and it is done upon you. Because we are human and it is what we do. But... What if you met somebody that doesn't fit in a category, and no matter what you do, you cannot give them a title. Is that a good thing? It's amazing. I have been fortunate enough to meet a man like this. His life fascinates me to no end, and I could spend countless sleepless days talking with him about everything and nothing, and I could never describe him in one word. He doesn't fit into categories. Why do I love this? Because my craving to talk to him. Not to text him, or like his pictures on Facebook. While talking to him on the phone is great because I get to hear the expression in his voice, meeting with him in person is unexplainable. Being able to connect with someone on an emotional level through body language and to stare intently when you speak to them cannot be replaced. There is a whole other level of communication when the person is just as interested in the conversation as you are, and you can see it in their eyes. 

Head up princess, your tiara is falling.

The irony that comes with my blog is that I'm using technology to preach about how it is disconnecting us. Yet, that's exactly why I said my blog would fluctuate between the good and the bad. Things like blogging, YouTube, tv new channels, online news papers and kindles are all forms of technology that cause messages to be dispursed to a vast majority of people in a short span of time. However, I will never understand the love for kindles. Who doesn't want to curl up on a mountain full of pillows, and turn pages that smell of its past, getting lost, deeper and deeper into the text of a life that doesn't belong to you? Because I love that. I strongly believe that we fear loneliness. Our society is so scared to be alone, even though, technology isn't company, we have been brainwashed otherwise. If you only text four people a day, no one likes you. You accept any and all friend requests on Facebook, because you don't want it to look like you have no friends. I know this, because that was me. Every like on Instagram is another happy minute of your life, and you refresh picture after picture every 45 seconds waiting for someone to say how pretty you are. if you don't get that comment within an hour, you obviously aren't attractive, and you need to delete it. Well, let me tell you something. You are pretty, but you are also pathetic, if you need a few typed words to make yourself feel worth it. Not all technology is bad, it's just the way you use it and crave it that is unhealthy, and wrong. So here is what I want you to do. I want you to turn off your computer, lock your phone in a drawer, find a mirror and look into it. Now, say these words. "I am beautiful, I am worth it. I can accomplish anything and everything. I am loved, and I am important. Nothing, and NOBODY can change that." Then, I want you to smile, because it is true. 

Disconnected

       Hi my name is Lizz, and I enjoy having a face to face conversation with people. “HI LIZZ.”   -The desire began about 15 years ago. The first time I was introduced, I was hooked. I’ve tried stopping, I swear. I got unlimited texting on my phone, going through rehab I got twitter, facebook, and instagram treatments. Nothing worked! I would sneak away from the computer and meet up with people… getting back into my old habits. There was just such a thrill about it, looking in people’s eyes instead of their phone numbers, laughing together instead of LOL’ing one at a time. We have never been so close to one another as we are today, and each day we meet more and more people, and learn a lot about them. But that’s the problem, when you are close to everybody, how do you know who wants to be close to you?

       You could know that my favorite animal is a peacock without ever talking to me, but do you know why? You could know when I’m at chipotle, or work, or at the cottage. But you should be ashamed, stalkers used to have to work much harder back in the day. Yeah it is fun and easy to just text somebody, or tweet at them, but really, what are you accomplishing? Because in my opinion if you never make time to see me, I’m not important to you. On another note, I remember when I was younger and my mom would tell me stories about how she would meet boys and she would wait by the one chord phone on the wall all night waiting for him to call, and then she would spend all night talking quietly under the kitchen table. I couldn’t wait for that, to wait by the phone, and learn everything about them over dinner and at hockey games. But mostly, I couldn't wait to watch a boy get nervous to talk to me, and be asked on a date. Now I’m not a super loser, I have gone on dates, but not one boy has had to build up the courage to ask me in person. The one thing I was so excited to happen when I grew up, and now It never will because now we have technology.

~Lizz~