Welcome to Prison...I mean, High School.

Slowly make the treacherous walk to you prison.
In a heavy daze, drag your feet, and walk with your inmates.
Nobody speaks, nobody makes eye contact with one another,
yet the thoughts going through your mind are carbon copies of one another.
The heavy door swings open as the air from the outside seems to have come from the inside.
Welcome to Princeton High School.
The wardens are lined up as soon as you enter, where you expect a hello,
you receive a lecture in disguise.
"What a cute dress" translates to "Let me keep you next to me until I'm able to determine if it is long enough so that I may find another way to punish you."
That's the craziest thing about this prison.
There is another Jail inside of it.
You think you lose almost all of who you are in these walls? Do something wrong.
Not wrong to society, wrong to their 300 page rule book they add to hourly.
You will be placed in solitary.
It's almost laughable, how hard they try for such stupidity.
Give me my lanyard, everyday my ID brands me like a cow.
Taking away the spirit of the class, just to replace it with detentions and more time in solitary.
They hold our hand, and treat us like we are four, but will push us out of our nest one day and expect us to fly.
We have to be so strong, and work so hard, but there is so much else going on in life.
They don't understand, and they don't try to.
Unless you cause their ratings to go up, you are just another passing face, looked up and down like a piece of meat, inspected for perfection.
198 days..198 days left in my sentence until I'm set free. No more being known as number 49.
I can finally just be me, I can finally just be Lizz.

I am a ceiling Fan

What am I?

Always there for you.

Waiting patiently every day until you need me.

When your hot head walks in, no matter what my day is like,

Without hesitation, you USE me to cool YOU down.

No matter what you throw my way, I keep perfect rhythm.

I can work faster, or slower, and the end results will be the same,

Perfect.

Until every once in a rare while I lose it.

I work so hard to give you comfort,

Sometimes days without breaks.

I didn’t sign up for this, but there is no escaping.

A fan missing a panel is unbalanced, not working,

Where even little, slow work is so out of control it’s scary.

What do you do to fix me, to help me?

Nothing.

You know why this happens? Because you never fan me.

It doesn’t cross the minds of the selfish that maybe,

The help they have been receiving is exactly what they need to be returning.

If a fan gets hot, they cool themselves,

And can never rely on anyone else to do it for them.

So do me a favor you have owed me for far too long,

Unplug me, and let me go.

Writers block

Sitting here, staring at wall, listening to the clock as it ticks by second by second dragging behind it the minutes that lead to the hours that define your life. Sigh. Staring at letters that so easily piece together words to describe everything that anyone has ever wanted to say, sing, or yell. Why do they now resemble a puzzle scattered across the endless dinning hall table? Little by little, the harder you stare at the letters, the more distant they become, and the urge to create something, anything, resembles the scrambling of a drowning man searching for land. Help. Eyes darting around the room, filling the rushing veins with nervous energy, the light switch has been turned off. As if Niagra falls has been stopped up by the meaningless flesh of confusion that separates imagination with communication. Mute. Nothing comes out. The music has been turned off, the spotlight arises, the silence of the room as if the thought of a breath of air could be heard louder than a mariachi band. Try. Cat got your tongue? More like took it with it. As Syliva evaporates into the hot, arid air, your tongue becomes sticky and uncomfortable like it was the tongue of a man that has desceased many years before your time. The moist from your mouth is replaced on the outter later of your forehead. The forehead which becomes a block to the outer world, preventing the awaiting eyes from seeing the file folders your mind searches through in desperate need of a thought, an action, a sentence, anything to take up these seconds. Breathe. You get red, and crave the oxygen that awaits on the outside of your dry, chapped, good for nothing lips. Close your eyes and listen to the applause. Stand up out of your haze. Obstacles that prevented you from sharing to the world your struggles, feelings, and hardships. The words you just used to explain everything you couldn't. 

Deep breath

Have you ever met someone that completely took your breath away? I'm not just talking about appearances or the way their body looks, I'm talking about 110% you are so blown away you forget to breathe. It is crazy. We walk through this world seeing everybody as one. You have your jocks, cheerleaders, bums, successful ones, know it alls, etc. yet, the very first time you meet someone and label them, you miss the opportunity to learn more about them. Because in the back of your mind, always, you are talking to the girl who spends way too much time getting ready in the morning. I do this, you do this, and it is done upon you. Because we are human and it is what we do. But... What if you met somebody that doesn't fit in a category, and no matter what you do, you cannot give them a title. Is that a good thing? It's amazing. I have been fortunate enough to meet a man like this. His life fascinates me to no end, and I could spend countless sleepless days talking with him about everything and nothing, and I could never describe him in one word. He doesn't fit into categories. Why do I love this? Because my craving to talk to him. Not to text him, or like his pictures on Facebook. While talking to him on the phone is great because I get to hear the expression in his voice, meeting with him in person is unexplainable. Being able to connect with someone on an emotional level through body language and to stare intently when you speak to them cannot be replaced. There is a whole other level of communication when the person is just as interested in the conversation as you are, and you can see it in their eyes. 

Head up princess, your tiara is falling.

The irony that comes with my blog is that I'm using technology to preach about how it is disconnecting us. Yet, that's exactly why I said my blog would fluctuate between the good and the bad. Things like blogging, YouTube, tv new channels, online news papers and kindles are all forms of technology that cause messages to be dispursed to a vast majority of people in a short span of time. However, I will never understand the love for kindles. Who doesn't want to curl up on a mountain full of pillows, and turn pages that smell of its past, getting lost, deeper and deeper into the text of a life that doesn't belong to you? Because I love that. I strongly believe that we fear loneliness. Our society is so scared to be alone, even though, technology isn't company, we have been brainwashed otherwise. If you only text four people a day, no one likes you. You accept any and all friend requests on Facebook, because you don't want it to look like you have no friends. I know this, because that was me. Every like on Instagram is another happy minute of your life, and you refresh picture after picture every 45 seconds waiting for someone to say how pretty you are. if you don't get that comment within an hour, you obviously aren't attractive, and you need to delete it. Well, let me tell you something. You are pretty, but you are also pathetic, if you need a few typed words to make yourself feel worth it. Not all technology is bad, it's just the way you use it and crave it that is unhealthy, and wrong. So here is what I want you to do. I want you to turn off your computer, lock your phone in a drawer, find a mirror and look into it. Now, say these words. "I am beautiful, I am worth it. I can accomplish anything and everything. I am loved, and I am important. Nothing, and NOBODY can change that." Then, I want you to smile, because it is true. 

Disconnected

       Hi my name is Lizz, and I enjoy having a face to face conversation with people. “HI LIZZ.”   -The desire began about 15 years ago. The first time I was introduced, I was hooked. I’ve tried stopping, I swear. I got unlimited texting on my phone, going through rehab I got twitter, facebook, and instagram treatments. Nothing worked! I would sneak away from the computer and meet up with people… getting back into my old habits. There was just such a thrill about it, looking in people’s eyes instead of their phone numbers, laughing together instead of LOL’ing one at a time. We have never been so close to one another as we are today, and each day we meet more and more people, and learn a lot about them. But that’s the problem, when you are close to everybody, how do you know who wants to be close to you?

       You could know that my favorite animal is a peacock without ever talking to me, but do you know why? You could know when I’m at chipotle, or work, or at the cottage. But you should be ashamed, stalkers used to have to work much harder back in the day. Yeah it is fun and easy to just text somebody, or tweet at them, but really, what are you accomplishing? Because in my opinion if you never make time to see me, I’m not important to you. On another note, I remember when I was younger and my mom would tell me stories about how she would meet boys and she would wait by the one chord phone on the wall all night waiting for him to call, and then she would spend all night talking quietly under the kitchen table. I couldn’t wait for that, to wait by the phone, and learn everything about them over dinner and at hockey games. But mostly, I couldn't wait to watch a boy get nervous to talk to me, and be asked on a date. Now I’m not a super loser, I have gone on dates, but not one boy has had to build up the courage to ask me in person. The one thing I was so excited to happen when I grew up, and now It never will because now we have technology.

~Lizz~

Just the beginning

Hey Readers!

I am not a fan of writing about myself, I tend to try and focus my writings on people and things that matter the most to me. So, here goes nothing. I am a Princeton student and am attending my thirteenth year in the district. They say the number 13 is unlucky, but I was born on the thirteenth so I say believe your superstition I love that number. I have high expectations for myself after high school, and I think that I can do it. I want to go to Toledo University, get a seat in the Pharm-D program and in six years graduate with a PhD, and become a psychiatric pharmacist. A lot of personal events have led up to this decision for my future, and I believe that with the emotion that comes along with it, I can succeed with flying colors, because I am not just doing it for me, I am doing it for the ones I love. Fingers Crossed! Chocolate is my favorite food group, I think peacocks are the most magical, breathtaking animals to walk on this planet, and I love working. Just keeping busy. Life is too short to just keep watching Duck Dynasty on your couch. I believe in getting out, meeting people, and creating everlasting friendships. That’s what life is about to me. Experiences.

            This brings me to what the topic of this blog will be about. I have switched it about five times now, but hey, who’s counting? It’s not going to be just one view point- positive or negative; it is going to rock back and forth between the two. Because I strongly believe that very few things in life are either 100% good or 100% bad. Disconnecting with connecting. Confusing? Let me explain. The world of technology is taking over. You would be surprised and look at me with crazy eyes if I told you, the technology that is connecting us, is disconnecting us, and cutting us off. I am not going to explain all that now, we have the rest of the semester for you to understand what I am saying. Maybe you agree with me, and maybe you don’t… But this is MY blog, so if you don’t like it I don’t really care! Just stop reading.


                                                       ~Lizz~